Word to the Wannabe Wise: Friendship
Word to the Wannabe Wise: Friendship
Key Bible Verses
Proverbs 12:26; 17:17; 18:24; 27:5-6; 27:9; 27:17
Digging Deeper
Proverbs teaches the joy and importance of loyal friendships. Friendship is one of our vital needs as human beings. Proverbs 27:9 states, “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 17:17 also shares how a true friend will not only be joyful with you but will cry with you, because “a friend loves at all times.”
As we strive to cultivate and sustain wise and fulfilling friendships, it's crucial that we seek God's guidance. In these significant relationships, we need His direction in the following ways:
To guide and bring godly friends into our lives who will challenge and encourage us in our faith.
To give wisdom and discernment to form healthy friendships and end those friendships that are not godly or that are toxic.
To practice humility and the willingness to listen and learn from others through friendships.
To maintain friendships that mutually encourage one another and cause growth in each person's faith.
To let the friendship be vulnerable and honest, where joys and struggles can be shared confidentially and without judgment or shame.
To let forgiveness and grace be abundant in the friendship, knowing that it is centered in Christ and that because of that focus, a closer walk with Jesus will also be fostered.
To foster accountability and the ability to lovingly help each other stay on track in our faith and help each other grow.
To be selfless and desire to put others before ourselves, giving opportunities for loving service to our friends.
To desire wisdom and guidance as we trust God to allow us to choose and nurture godly friendships that will last a lifetime.
May God grant us friendships that will last a lifetime, sustain us, and challenge us to be more devoted disciples of Jesus.
What Not To Miss
Proverbs teaches about friendship.
Five Categories of Relationships
Family
Spouse
Friends/Neighbors/Acquaintances
Community/Team/Tribe
Friendships
The Hebrew language has one word for friend, “Re’a,” which can also mean (or be translated) neighbor or companion.
Jesus taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves. f and that means anyone we come into contact with should be considered our neighbor; thus, we should treat them as a friend, or in a friendly manner.
Definition: Friendliness is displaying a neighborly disposition toward all people we encounter that adds functionality and flourishing to their life.
Proverbs (and other passages of Scripture) teach of a deeper level of friendliness, called friendship.
Friendship transcends mere friendliness to yield a level of affection more accurately defined as “close friends.”
Biblical Friendship is the vehicle God uses to help us function and flourish in our humanity (humanity is how we relate, create, and operate) as we traverse through the sea of life on our way to eternal life.
Barriers and Obstacles to Biblical Friendship.
I. Obstacles (Barriers) to Biblical Friendship
Distrust (Fear)
Grow Apart
Time (Busyness)
Distance
Sin (Hurt/Wounded)
Lazy (Unintentional)
II. Markers of Biblical Friendship
Principle:
We can all be a friend to everyone, but we all can’t be in friendship with everyone.
Selection
You choose the person or persons you want to be in friendship with.
Compatibility
Mutual friendship is like being two peas in a pod.
Theological and practical framework/components that make up compatibility.
Physical Proximity
A presence and geographical closeness.
A spontaneity in the relationship.
Enduring Durability
Through thick and thin.
Consistency and constancy in the friendship, which is loyal.
Careful Candor
Someone who loves us more than they love themselves and who will tell us what we don’t want to hear, but what we need to hear.
Biblical friendship is able to hold in tension truth and grace, carefulness and candor, sensitivity and directness, and love and letting them have it.
Wise Counsel
Even though wise counsel hurts because it is given in the context of a friendship, you receive it because you know it comes from a deep place of love.
Give advice that leads to health, wisdom, and flourishing so we can relate and become more like Jesus.
III. Outcomes (Results) of Biblical Friendship
Practical
When you consider what a Biblical friend does, that kind of friend will add nothing but holistic value to your life.
Practically speaking, we need healthy friendships!
Spiritual/Theological
We need spiritual and theological formation and transformation.
This kind of biblical friendship is used to form, transform, change, and forge more into the image of Jesus.
This kind of friendship is hard to find, but we know we can find it in Jesus Christ. Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Do you have a friendship with Jesus?
Do you have a friendship like this with others?
Do you have a friend or two with whom you can cultivate a friendship?
It’s this kind of friendship that is for the wannabe wise. This kind of friendship will get you through the sea of life as you journey towards eternal life.
Life Application
This week, take a moment to reflect on the best friends you've had in your life. Consider the qualities that made them special to you. Then, reach out to them to express your appreciation for their friendship. Also, pray that God will open your eyes to other potential wise, godly friends who can support you in your spiritual journey with Jesus.
Small Group Discussion Questions
What qualities do you think of when you think of a friend?
What does the wisdom in Proverbs teach us about friendship?
What are the advantages of having a wise, godly friend?
Why is it important to choose our friends wisely and not be friends with fools?
What advice would you give someone who is looking for a godly friend?
Daily Devotional Bible Passages
Day 1: Friendship-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10; Proverbs 18:24; Romans 12:10
Day 2: Encouragement-1 Thessalonians 5:11; Proverbs 27:9; Proverbs 27:17
Day 3: Forgiveness-Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32; Matthew 6:14-15
Day 4: Kindness-Job 6:14; 1 Peter 4:8-10; Luke 6:31
Day 5: Love-John 15:12-13; Proverbs 17:17; Colossians 3:14
Prayer
Lord, I come to you seeking your wisdom in my friendships. I know that true and lasting friendships are a gift from You. Help me to have friends who will support and encourage me to grow and become a closer, more faithful follower of You. Also, let me be a good friend in return, always showing love, kindness, compassion, and understanding as I love my friends. Give me the discernment to realize when something is amiss with a friendship and the courage to lovingly confront issues that might be a barrier or hurt the friendship. Also, I ask that you give me wisdom as I make new friends who love You and let us center our friendship around You. Let me be a reflection of Your love and grace in every friendship, new or old, that I have, and may my words and actions be guided by Your wisdom and bring glory and honor to Your name.
